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Archive for June, 2011

And Now for the Fairytale ending………….

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

I spent practically my whole life in school waiting for the moment that I would be old enough and wise enough to work in a career helping people. Last night I graduated from nursing school and I still don’t think it’s all hit me yet. I was looking forward to that cleansing sigh of relief knowing that now things would be easier I wouldn’t have to catch a hour bus ride up to school stay up long hours finishing clinical paperwork, walk up the hill to school past the turn pike praying I wouldn’t be splashed with muck on my walk…..But it’s bitter sweet, life isn’t at all what I thought it would be………..and though I’ve reached this milestone I feel more confused now than before this journey began ……I have no idea whats next.

life has thrown me curveball after curveball and I’m bruised………….. I’ve never been so tired in my life that no nap can relieve. I reflect back on that list I made when i was five and there are still so many things left to do….and I have no clue where to begin….
I’m unemployed….. I have no car… job…. no license… man……..( LOL @ that last part) and no idea what im supposed to do now….
I want to be a midwife but where do I start? what school is next? (the thought of going back makes me want to cry………. Nursing school was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through in my life)

There aren’t a lot of midwifery programs out there ( only one here in Philadelphia that I know of) and my family dynamic doesn’t really permit me to move out of state or live on my own…..
Stress isn’t a big enough word to describe how I feel……

First person has been a blessing in that i am able to reflect on those moments in my life and see myself..high school graduation was kinda the same I swore I would have it figured out by now…….
I feel like i did then…lol only now I have a few more job options ( I won’t have to join the circus….I hope…. LOL) however from what i hear the job market for nurses is not that great right now and most hospitals are looking for bsn….

but what brings me peace is knowing that even in the momemts when i didnt know the Most High and my ancestors placed someone in my life to guide me to the next move………..
I’ve been blessed to meet many who serve a higher power and who seek to assist those in need…..
All of this has taught me patience ………
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