First Person

My baby is now a month and a half. It’s been a little rough having a new baby around. I have to change all of my priorities such as how i sleep. He sleeps a lot but wakes up every 4 hours and i be up all types of times at night. It’s time for me to go back to work and school but i am worried about leaving him with my sisters and his dad. I’ve had some scares with him being sick but it turned out not to be that bad.

I just registered for school down at community college and should be starting in may. I’m trying hard to find a job right now. But that’s all i have been doing is raising my baby and looking for work trying to get my priorities straight. Trying to work on getting my life together for me and my baby. I’ve also been second thinking going to college for 2 years. I’ve been thinking that maybe it would be better to go to trade school or something but everyone wants me to go to college i just think two years is a little while to wait to be able to jump into a career versus the 6 months it would take me at trade school. But the wait might be worth it, I really don’t know.

Sorry for failing to keep the Video Gallery and the blog updated. I’ve been totally wrapped up in preparing a handful of proposals. In the last month, we’ve submitted to ITVS, the Toronto Documentary Forum, and the Garrett Scott Grant Program of the FullFrame Festival. Preparing both the written materials and especially the sample reel for ITVS is a mutha.

If nothing else, we should get a rough idea for what First Person’s ceiling is. I had breakfast with Steve last week, and he’s still hoping to become an international celebrity off of this whole experience. His goal is to walk into Blockbuster and see a poster of himself. After three years of trying to tamp down such expectations, I’ve kind of given up. But its difficult, because I really have very little sense of what is a realistic set of outcomes for this film. As Sharon has been assembling scenes, its been unbelievable to see this thing I’ve held in my head and heart for years start to come to life. For better or worse, its beginning to shape up like the movie I wanted to make.

ITVS gets a couple thousand proposals and only funds about a dozen. Actually getting money from them is the longest of long shots…right up there with Steve’s Blockbuster fantasy. But the top 30% of projects make it on to the second round. Whether or not we make that cut will provide me with a much clearer direction of where we should eventually try to take First Person. In the meantime, its time to get back to the grind of maintaining the website, building the outreach efforts, and assembling the rough cut.

Winter break was wonderful I did alot of nothing embraced nearly a month without classes, papers, tests or stress. I slept the 1st couple days straight through just to regain my appreciation for 8 full hours of sleep. After the first week I shortened my rest time to a 2hour nap and embraced the company of some new found family and I spread the seeds of my refund check far and wide. I regret none of it but I do think that I should have remembered the cost of books. :-) lol Right now I’m counting my pennies deciding which book I can put off buying until I strike it rich again. I think I have discovered the underlying meaning of College student: a person persuing higher learning who time & time again is left with only linty pockets. I came to the realization that charity starts with books. :-)

I finished off the last semester okay. I could have done better but I think that I have adjusted to campus life and I know that this semester will be dedicated to embracing better study habits. This semester I am taking BIO 109 (Anatomy and Psysiology) English 102, Music 101 (Piano), Sociology 101 & Math 118 (Algebra) a full schedule packed into 3days. So far all my professors seem to be about their buisness and I can appreciate that. well I gotta go study :-)
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why, this isnt supposed to happen to me, a am steven parr iii and this is supposed to be the steven parr iii show my best friend isnt suppposed to die. he was my best friend we grew up together. we ran together we did it all together. i remeber when he handcuffed me to my aunts gates when we were little kids. we fought like evry weekend it was crazy and now he is gone. and the fucked up part was i was in my doorway when i hear the shots and his cousin was on the steps acroos the street. and we both heard the shots and couldnt even fathom that its was aaron. not my man ace. cant be. this nigga was the samer age as me shit like this is for the papers. iread about this shit like. this is some boyz in the hood type shit. i just dont understand. i dont. we are the same age. we grew up together. i dont know how wo deala with no shit like this. then i had to tell his gradmother he was dead. that shit is scrazy. and all i get to do is read about him in the paper and the end of the year. just a fucking statistic. this shit is crazy nobody prep me for this type of shit. like i dont know how to deal. i am used to seeing him everyday. like i was just with him at like 6 at his girlfriends house. talking to him while he was playing fight night. today. like its is crazy. i would have never thought it would be somebody this close. i thought i was gonnna be one of the lucky ones to exscape this type of shit . like i jsut dont know why. i am steven parr iii this shit isnt supposed to happen to me. like my story is supposed to be that i messed in school a lil bit. played around andd then did well. not death. i thought that shit was supposed to be over when my grandmother died. i thought that was the last funeral i thought i wouldnt have to go to another until like never. not some my age not my best friend my age not the one person i could count on no matter what.