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Archive for May, 2007

Its been a real struggle balancing work and family

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

I just started a new job at the Whole Foods Market and its great. I love the pay, the benefits, and the people are very friendly. The difference between the people here and the people I’m used to working with at other jobs is that if people at other jobs didnt like you, they would show it. Its kinda scary to have people smiling in your face and speaking to you if you’re not sure if they like you. I don’t like have to wait to find out whether I am voted on the team at Whole Foods. It takes months and everyone is so friendly that you have no idea who gonna vote you on or off.

Its been a real struggle balancing work and family only because its really hard trying to find someone I trust and know will do a good job to babysit my son. I don’t have many child care options because my shift switches constantly. So far, though, my mom and sisters take of Shamere and his godmom when she can.

Other than that, its OK.

Reflection

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

Staring into an empty mirror, where my reflection should be.
A dark and cold, empty room is all that my eyes can see.
Pondering what is happening I close my eyes and count to ten.
Now nothing is what I see.
A future unforseen, years past and souls lost,
leaving behind pleanty of shattered dreams.
The mirror is a symbol, a window into my soul.
Where memories float, feelings linger, and experiences fortify my being as a whole.
My situation is like a constant near death experience, yet longer lasting and so much worse.
Shit that happened in the past, plays in front of me like a movie.
The only difference is theres no dramatisms, this shit is oh so real.
The same pain I fealt back then, courses through my body,
The funny thing is back then certain events were so crazy they seemed to be surreal.
Not now, for that matter not then.
Till this day I grow numb, waiting for old wounds to mend.
After a while I start to warm up, and see my reflection again.
I guess its my soul, tellin my mind that one of those old wounds completed to mend.
and my spirit made peace with ghosts from my past.

Update on Macho 5-24-07

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

Me and Bebop

Well as you all can see by her cap,dunno where her gown went in this one, SHE DID IT!!!! My big sis graduated from WCU West Chester University on May 12th 2007. Im am sooo proud of her we all are. She has become the first in our family to graduate from college, I know it was a long four years for her, but she stuck it out didn’t give up and she prevailed.

all of us dining and celebrating after the graduation ceremony

As you can see we all showed our support for her at the graduation ceremony and at dinner. As far as I go……..well you know how they say everybody has a sucky semester some where along the road to being a post graduate, well i think its pretty safe to say I’ve spent my bad semester. I’m glad that my family,well some of my family, are supportive of me and aren’t being judgemental over the fact. More consoling than grief is always helpful. I would have to say that the reason I did so bad is because this was my first semester workin full-time and I guess its a lot harder than it looks, kind of embarrassing though when pretty much the whole time my older sister Belinda was in school she held out two or three jobs and school at a time. I’m not blaming alll of it on work though, there are some things I could’ve done differently, but I know better for future reference.
School is over now and I plan on making the best of my summer ahead and try to have some sort of fun, to make up for some time lost, or spent I should say working. As far as my family goes……Mom is still one of the most supporting and guiding figures I am still blessed with, My sister Jacinda is slowly but surely taking steps forward to build her future, My younger sister Kimber AKA “baby girl” is getting ready to graduate this June and elevate to a higher plain of education and I am confident in her talent to shine and ability to adapt, and as for my little brother, he’s getting ready to experience high school for himself.

It seems like forever….

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

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The semester is winding down and finals are fast approaching, to be honest I can’t wait for it to be over. Community was on strike this semester which added two weeks to this semester and shortened the summer sessions. That really threw my semester into a tizzy. I had planned on taking summer classes to get my AA in nursing faster but √≠ts starting to be a little discouraging. All of my classes seemed to have picked up pace once we got back from the strike and I’m finding it hard to tackle it all. This week I talked to a friend of mines in my Sociology class and she suggested I apply for jefferson’s school of nursing its a little more geared to my vocation and science oriented…. and I think I’m going to do it!!! community college isn’t quite my speed I miss Girls High but theres no going backwards in life…so full throttle forward it is!!! hopefully I’ll be able to transfer… either way I’ll keep you updated thank you all for your continued support of first person … and sorry Ive been slow with the blogs ..it’s really coming down to crunch time… wish me luck..on my finals
Malikka

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