First Person

I have to say thankyou to everyone who contributed to the First Person Person Trust Fund….you are my silent WEALTHY Angels…. believe me your $$$ is going to good use i used it to pay for my summer classes some 2000+ dollars my books some 300+ dollars and the gap between my financial aid and books this semester some 1100+ dollars. Not to menton My Doula training in NY 300+ dollars.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS I OWE YOU ONE!!!!!!!
And I’M PRAYING FOR YOU ALL
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANKYOU

I’m so happy about the recent inquirer article (the one from today). I really enjoy answering the question “so what are you doing now” because it gives me a chance to thank Stephanie Wroten (multicultural Outreach coordinator at Abington Memorial Dixon school of nursing). I just felt like after the Whyy premiere everyone would have questions….and I wouldn’t be able to pop out the television and tell them what i was up to. So I am very happy about Todays article because it allowed my voice to span a little farther than the small forums we usually have. I just hope that Philly was really eager to catch up on teh sports scores and everyone grabbed a paper. :-)
So just in Case you didn’t get a chance to read the article pull it up on the interweb.
SHOUT OUt: Thankyou so Much Stephanie For getting Me back in school!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

okay …. sorry everyone that i’ve been MIA. I’ve really been a little wore out! I feel like i’ve been in school all year since my summer classes just ran right intoeachother and the fall was right after. my mini vacations have been skating trips back and forth to Jersey lol.

I just started my 3rd semester at Manor Jr College i’m going part time since all i have are sciences left. At the moment I’m taking A&P I and nutrition so far I’ve had my first exams and they’re A’s so I’m off to a good start. In the spring I’ll be taking A&P II and MicroBiology and then I should be done with my pre reqs.

Life drama is still at maximum capasity but I’m trying daily to ignore it. I’m trying my darndest to stay on my square and make my story into the success story that we all want….but boy it ain’t easy!
sometimes I just want to run away and live in georgia amoungst the country folk….but then in that same moment i want to have something to offer the country folk…..and poor broke living out a bag froliking in teh wind malikka just ain’t good enough…lol ( if you get what i’m saying)….

on a lighter note I quit my night job so im in search of employment….:-) any chop recruiters out there?? I’m a fast learner!!

and I just got my permit so im looking to buy a car…. anybody selling a workable droptop convertible?? lol im in the 800-1200 range ….lol

and right now I’m on a spiritual journey….it’s not my first one….I’ve had a few …lol right now I’m studying Kemetic science …it’s wonderful…

okay but back to buisness im am very happy about the Whyy premiere I have been trying to be as incognito<<that looks so wrong ….as to not draw to much attention to myself lol people actually stopped my mother on the elevator at her job and said “HEY Aren’t You Malikka’s MOm?”…..It so funny to me because everyone i meet through First Person see’s me as a celeb …and I still see myself as me….the only thing different from me and the rest of the people i graduated with is that I shared my story on FILM…….I’m sure there were hundreds of other story’s like mine …maybe even more heartwrenching in Girlshigh…..
but I’ll take the celeb status in stride i guess….. I’m just happy through the movie I get the chance to share my experiences and guide those who are looking to work with youth….
Thankyou To all Those who invited us to present first Person…..Thankyou To teh Many Locations Who screened the Movie on teh 25th and thankyou to our most recent group City Year it was wonderful not only to recieve the warmth of your organization but to also be able to reflect personally on the life of My Bro Fresh…

I’ll try to write more often ….and I was serious about teh job car thing! :-) lol

Oh I almost Forgot!!!! I’m going to Be A DOULA!!!!!! ( a birth coach) I’m going to NY to be trained by ICTC im so excited this is a big step for me…. it almost like ….almost not quite …no hands on but next to theroad of being a midwife…sooo if there are any pregnant mommies out there looking to have a doula I’ll be certified by October 12th lol!!! (im serious!!)

After all the stuff that went down in my last post…

I still am tryin to do me but at the same time get my lady back , and the only thing i could think of is i have to show how that i can make on my own and support myself as well as her . Which was great motavation . At this point i beg to talk with her in person and wasnt taking no for a answer. I had so many questions and so much to say to this gerl . We stayed outside in her yard talkin till around 400 in the morning and by then i thought we were gonna be ok . That weekend we went out on a night on the town we Had the best time we ever had in the 2 and a half years we were together . We even cryed together while we held each other at penns landing until like 2 somthing in the morning but they were tears of happiness from me and her. We both felt the same way so i asked her back out , and then we were back together! 3 days later i think everything is ok and its the day of her birthday . I bought ballons flowers had money to take her out the whole nine….She comes out of nowhere and tells me she dont want shyt do with me, she never wants to see me again and to never call her.

I couldnt do nothing but look at her and just cry like a lil bitch and walk away with my head down. I never was expecting it . It felt like she built me up jus to whatch me Break down like she hurt me on so many diffrent levels it was jus crazy i felt like jus commiting suicide and foreal foreal the only reason i didnt is because , and this is REAL RAP , is because i knew if i were dead that someone else would eventually walk in her life and i couldnt let that happen not alive nor dead not even now.

Luckly i had muh boys who were steady smokin me up for free and wow was i grateful because i was on a non stop emotional rollercoaster and when i smoked i jus chilled and talked about other things other then her. believe me if ne one woulda saw the way i was …shyt i looked in the miror at work and felt bad for my own damn self! Lets put it that way.

So by now i am close to 2 months away from our break up. emotionaly is my head and hart still fucked up? yeah but now i can hide my feelins and work on me because it dont look to good for that sunkin ship yea get what im sayin.

right now i am THE CLEANEST , FULLIST , Homeless Person ull probly ever meet. I feel like i had to clear my head and start anew with everything….trust me I learned alot from our journey…I wont ever get hurt again. And now i am looking for a new job and a room afterwards . Ben said he can help me out but i feel like its not his respnsability not even as a best freaind , my role model , or My brother i never had. its mine. I made the coice’s that had the consequences that put me where i am now.

Well thanx for listning but i have one more thing to say:

NO ONE BETTER COMMENT THIS BLOG ON SOME DUMB ASS FEELIN SORRY BULLSHYT . I AM A MAN AND I CAN TAKE CARE OF MySELF AND I APPRECIATE THE LOVE iLL GET ATCH YALL ON A LATER DATE>>>>>>>>>>>>>

If you are jus curious to what I have to say and just being knewsy stop reading this now….

Ok now if the people that Do care but sometimes cant handle the truth, you should stop reading now too…

Alot has changed in these past couple of months. About 3 months ago the love of my life randomly kicked me outta the house…It was real grimy the way it all went down…i come home and BAMM! im out on kensington ave wit a change of cloths a wash rag and muh toothbrush that she quickly gave me in a bag , without a dime or a pot to piss in… I slept on kensington ave for about a week even in the rain hoping that she would wanna talk and work things out but apparently it was more deeper then i thought like she never even came to check to see if i was ok. I litarrly Cryed every night I was out there feeling UNwanted , UNloved and jus straight up alone yo. I was So fucking hungry by the 3rd day i was picking up chip bags that kids threw away on the DL tip and eating what was left.By like the 6th day i wasnt so upset jus deppressed and jus baffled by the whole situation.

I was so caught up with my thoughts and worrys that my job at mcdonalds told me to jus stay in the back on the grill . I didnt have newere to go and no way to get back to work even if i did go newere so I saw a cemetary close by and jus rested my head and went to work for the next couple of days….

I ran into my best freind and he looked out wit a shower n shyt and we went out that night…That same night I meet my freinds weed connect and we ended up talking for awhile after we meet and i told him about my situation so He told me to take his number and to call him later on on the late night tip. I knew what it was hittin for but fuck i was thinking I needed the money but i also knew it wouldnt be a smart move… hey if you are in the position that i was in it can feel like its eat and survive ne means necessary….

TO BE CONTINUED…

I am back in school I’ve transferred out of community. I’m taking summer classes at Manor College in jenkintown. I’m racking up some science classes so that i’ll be academically in line for that acceptance letter im hoping for from Dixon. Life’s pretty good I’ve got no major complaints. I’d like to thank all those who contributed to the first person scholarship fund because that’s how I was able to pay for these classes ” I owe you one”. It feels good being back in school I feel like I’m back on track. I had my first exam yesterday so far so good 84% :-) keep praying for me
when i get a chance i’ll write more
love you all