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Shalisa's posts

I guess its official

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Waiting for the baby now is too hard. Sometimes I’m wishing that it come on cause I’m sick of waiting around the house. I’m ready to go back out and work and go to school. Being pregnant has helped me realize who I can and cannot count on. It helped me realize that nobody is going to be there for me financially or take care of me like I am and now that I have a child I know I gotta work that much harder. And I’m glad that my being pregnant helped me realize this because the sooner I find out the better. Better than if I was really in need of something. Not saying no one helped me out cause people have, but I know who I can and cannot count on, and it’s not many people that I can count on so I’ll avoid having to lean on people by going out and getting me a job and going back to school. Besides I’m used to taking care of myself every since I had my job I been taking care of myself and that’s how I like it I don’t like to depend on people. So now I find myself rushing my baby so that I can hurry up and jump back into the world. But then on the other hand I don’t want to rush it because I’m thinking I’m not ready to face the pain, I’m also thinking of ALL the things that can go wrong. But at the end of the day I realize I can’t and shouldn’t rush it. He is going to come when he is ready not before and not after. And as far as me being scared or things being wrong I just put it all and gods hands and pray for the best.

P.S

With out letting me know to me my babyfather went out and got my babies name tattooed on his arm so i guess that definitely makes the name official. SHAMERE KILE TYRONE OUSLEY.

-MzSDot

Shalisa's posts

Kinda Sad

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

My last first person shoot was kinda sad. But it was an happy occasion so i wasn’t really sad but knowing that this was the last time i would be being filmed was kinda sad to me. I mean i’m not frauding i’m a hood chic so it’s not so much the cameras not being around that i’ma miss but knowing that this was my last shoot had me thinking. Did i say everything i needed to say? Will what i did say really help people in situations like mine or to prevent situations like mine? Was i really helpful because in all out reality thats what this was all about for me. being able to get out there and be able to be heard, to say something people in my situation will never be able to say and have people really listen. Anyway my last film took place at my new home, i was having a BabyShower. most of my family and friends came out to support me. I got alot of great gifts from everybody and the party turned out really nice. Like i said my last interview had me thinking about if i had done enough but i just chalked it all up as i gave it my everything.

Shalisa's posts

Pregnancy & the future

Saturday, November 11th, 2006

Being pregnant has affected my plans only by slowing them down now far as I can see. Because I have raised my three little sisters since they were babies so I kinda got the idea of how things are supposed go. But it may be a little different because with my sister I didn’t have to take care of them I didn’t have to provide for them. Also when I’m baby-sitting my little sister and other kids when I was tired of them pretty much I could give them back but I can’t do that now. But I am not so much worried because all of my family and friends are supporting and willing to help out as much as they can. And also my babyfather is trying to play his part. But as much as I appreciate that I am not depending on nobody to do anything for me. So I just know that when I go back college that I have to farther my education as much as I can so that I can start to provide a good life for me and my kid. When originally I just wanted to go to school for two years and get it over with. But I know the more I further my education the more money I can make. So I plan to go to school for the two years get an associates degree so that I can get started with a nice career, and then from community college transfer to a four year college. As far as my future goes it will only be different because I’m not alone I have another person to worry about. thats the only big thing thats getting to me because I’m kinda selfish and having someone else to worry about, and or take care of.

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