First Person

I’m a doula with a client and I’m excited. I’m pulling A’s in school. But I feel like time is running out…..(how much longer will this world last?) and I’m wondering if I’m wasting mine’s.
My true self is a constant meditator, holistic healer, master of her higher sences…earth child. I don’t feel like the traditional system is helping me complete my full self and it bothers me…..the more I study the more I realise how twisted and backwards we live…..but we’re too afraid to just
…..STOP….

In a word….I’m “Tired” I understand what the old folks mean when they say I’m tired. I’m tired! If I layed my soul out before you maybe you’d understand. We are real people with real issues! I know there are people out there who truely want success for all of us, but those other individuals…..boy do they get under my skin. Looking into my eyes is so much diffreent then looking out them. Everyday is a choice between ignoring my reality or succumbing to it. I swear if i was a believer in suicide it would have been over! lol Sometimes my reality is like ignoring a wounded victim while you save yourself…or at least that’s what it feels like. Sometimes I look at my dream and the sacrifices I will have to make and it just…doesn’t seem right. Like when did i become and individual or start believing in this individualistic selfcentered society??? What ever happened to family first??? It will take me 6 or more years to be what i want…..for what???? Why can’t I do it the ol African way and just just be a Midwife’s apprentice and study under her for 6years at least I will be mastering my field. It’s starting to feel like a waste of time. I Want it And I Want it Bad ….but this can’t be the only way…
Don’t get me wrong throwing in the towel…I’m just Tired..

With the economy the housing market and the education system where it is…..it just doesn’t feel real…..am I a part of the smoke screen……does anybody else feel like there’s something else going on???

It was wonderful!!! I went to Ny to the black Midwives conference to be trained as a doula. it was my first time leaving philly by myself and staying overnight and i enjoyed it so much that i didn’t want to come back. If I didn’t have class monday I probably would have stayed!! ok so I completed the trinaing so right now I have like a partial certification I have to get CPR certified and go to a couple womens health seminars and help deliver 5 babies and then i’ll be totally certified…..so…what does malikka need? Some willing Preganat women!!! and a CPR Class!! can you help a sista out???
I’m also hoping to apprentice under a CNM or a CPM in this area if your out there and you like my enthusiasm then please reply :-) I’m so excited!!!!
MAlIKKA IS A DOULA!!!!!!!

oh I forgot to mention that I made some lovely friends in NY shout out to my Doula Mates!!! Love you guys!!

I have to say thankyou to everyone who contributed to the First Person Person Trust Fund….you are my silent WEALTHY Angels…. believe me your $$$ is going to good use i used it to pay for my summer classes some 2000+ dollars my books some 300+ dollars and the gap between my financial aid and books this semester some 1100+ dollars. Not to menton My Doula training in NY 300+ dollars.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS I OWE YOU ONE!!!!!!!
And I’M PRAYING FOR YOU ALL
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANKYOU

I’m so happy about the recent inquirer article (the one from today). I really enjoy answering the question “so what are you doing now” because it gives me a chance to thank Stephanie Wroten (multicultural Outreach coordinator at Abington Memorial Dixon school of nursing). I just felt like after the Whyy premiere everyone would have questions….and I wouldn’t be able to pop out the television and tell them what i was up to. So I am very happy about Todays article because it allowed my voice to span a little farther than the small forums we usually have. I just hope that Philly was really eager to catch up on teh sports scores and everyone grabbed a paper. :-)
So just in Case you didn’t get a chance to read the article pull it up on the interweb.
SHOUT OUt: Thankyou so Much Stephanie For getting Me back in school!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

okay …. sorry everyone that i’ve been MIA. I’ve really been a little wore out! I feel like i’ve been in school all year since my summer classes just ran right intoeachother and the fall was right after. my mini vacations have been skating trips back and forth to Jersey lol.

I just started my 3rd semester at Manor Jr College i’m going part time since all i have are sciences left. At the moment I’m taking A&P I and nutrition so far I’ve had my first exams and they’re A’s so I’m off to a good start. In the spring I’ll be taking A&P II and MicroBiology and then I should be done with my pre reqs.

Life drama is still at maximum capasity but I’m trying daily to ignore it. I’m trying my darndest to stay on my square and make my story into the success story that we all want….but boy it ain’t easy!
sometimes I just want to run away and live in georgia amoungst the country folk….but then in that same moment i want to have something to offer the country folk…..and poor broke living out a bag froliking in teh wind malikka just ain’t good enough…lol ( if you get what i’m saying)….

on a lighter note I quit my night job so im in search of employment….:-) any chop recruiters out there?? I’m a fast learner!!

and I just got my permit so im looking to buy a car…. anybody selling a workable droptop convertible?? lol im in the 800-1200 range ….lol

and right now I’m on a spiritual journey….it’s not my first one….I’ve had a few …lol right now I’m studying Kemetic science …it’s wonderful…

okay but back to buisness im am very happy about the Whyy premiere I have been trying to be as incognito<<that looks so wrong ….as to not draw to much attention to myself lol people actually stopped my mother on the elevator at her job and said “HEY Aren’t You Malikka’s MOm?”…..It so funny to me because everyone i meet through First Person see’s me as a celeb …and I still see myself as me….the only thing different from me and the rest of the people i graduated with is that I shared my story on FILM…….I’m sure there were hundreds of other story’s like mine …maybe even more heartwrenching in Girlshigh…..
but I’ll take the celeb status in stride i guess….. I’m just happy through the movie I get the chance to share my experiences and guide those who are looking to work with youth….
Thankyou To all Those who invited us to present first Person…..Thankyou To teh Many Locations Who screened the Movie on teh 25th and thankyou to our most recent group City Year it was wonderful not only to recieve the warmth of your organization but to also be able to reflect personally on the life of My Bro Fresh…

I’ll try to write more often ….and I was serious about teh job car thing! :-) lol

Oh I almost Forgot!!!! I’m going to Be A DOULA!!!!!! ( a birth coach) I’m going to NY to be trained by ICTC im so excited this is a big step for me…. it almost like ….almost not quite …no hands on but next to theroad of being a midwife…sooo if there are any pregnant mommies out there looking to have a doula I’ll be certified by October 12th lol!!! (im serious!!)