First Person

I am back in school I’ve transferred out of community. I’m taking summer classes at Manor College in jenkintown. I’m racking up some science classes so that i’ll be academically in line for that acceptance letter im hoping for from Dixon. Life’s pretty good I’ve got no major complaints. I’d like to thank all those who contributed to the first person scholarship fund because that’s how I was able to pay for these classes ” I owe you one”. It feels good being back in school I feel like I’m back on track. I had my first exam yesterday so far so good 84% :-) keep praying for me
when i get a chance i’ll write more
love you all

I think that nursing is in my blood. If you ask my mother if it wasn’t for the midwife who delivered me I wouldn’t be here. I believe from an early age that drive to give back was in me. I’m not unfamiliar to the hospital setting at all. Through the years I’ve had my share of days there. From my diagnosis with asthma and the many days I thought I would die from it, to my bilateral and lumbar spinal fusions that nearly left me paralyzed at age 12. These angels in rainbow scrubs that appeared through the fog of morphine tears were always with me. They were my 2 a.m. bathroom buddies, my extra hands and feet when mine weren’t steady enough and my wheelchair chauffeur’s.
They were there when I lost those closest to me; they were their through aunts’ breast cancer uncle’s chemotherapy, through my great-aunt’s appendicitis friend’s father’s heart attack, through my little sisters broken jaw and mom’s sprained ankle. They cared for my family as if they were their own. When the doctors were on rotation and visiting hours were over they we’re there. What better way to give back than to be a part of something that has been such a major part of my life?
Many of the above events have affected my academics but that hasn’t stopped me from wanting to be a nurse. I know that with the right environment and supports I can fulfill my dream. I just need some help. I want more than anything to have the chance to be a nurse midwife because for me that’s where my story began. Through my stay at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia during my rides on the elevator to and from x-ray, MRI and cat scans I had the chance to hear other people’s stories and the most heart wrenching were those of new parents. They reaffirmed my aspirations to be a part of the medical field.
In the summer prior to tenth grade I was met with a proposition to be a part of a documentary entitled “First person�. The film follows the lives of six students through high school. I jumped at the chance to have an auditory and visual history of my high school experience. During high school I had the opportunity to speak in front of middle school students, policy makers, and prospective teachers who craved my insights and opinions about high school and the college application process. Through the timeline of the film, I made my college selections and got into Drexel, however finances prevented me from attending. I was devastated. As disappointing as this was it showed first hand what so many of my peers were going through. The film depicts the emotional and financial challenges of the college process. I wound up at community college of Philadelphia. Through “First Person� I’ve had the chance to tell the story of countless inner-city kids. After three difficult semesters at community college, this included the death of a close friend, my uncle’s stroke. I decided to take a break. My story isn’t over. I Came across The Abington Memorial Hospital Dixon School of nursing by no other way than the grace of God. Through media exposure and rave reviews of the film, a woman by the name of Stephanie Wroten read my story and reached out. I’m hoping that her hands are the one’s that will lead me to the chance I need to have the Career that I’ve always wanted.

Life has had its ups and downs and at times that plan that i set for myself a long time ago gets a little foggy.
I decided to take this semester of to regroup and figure out what i want..
see when i was 12 I wanted go to temple to be a nurse get married to a sultan be a fashion diva and live in dubai all by the age of 18 ….now a days i wonder how much of that was a fairyland dream…

especially since none of the above came to pass ….I mean sure i’ve met my prince but the wealth and beach home were a long shot….
The many unforseen twists and turns of life have at moments had me in the fetal position praying for an end to it all but I’m grateful for my faith because at moments when i think it couldn’t get any worse it does …but for a split second in between i see the sunshine and I hear my moms old saying “With every difficulty comes ease” “God doesn’t give you more than you can bear”
so I’ll try my best to take the rough moments in stride

So i’ve turned the page of my journal and labeled it my life’s plan ….I understand now that the main reason why life is getting in the way of my future is because im letting it. so i plan on investing some time and money on some profesional therapy sessions to get some of those pent up hurt feelings out ….the temple drexel desicion is still haunting me ….according to my life plan i should be half way through school married and pregnant with my first child chilling at my summer home… maybe i need to take some time to lay out some more realistic goals …..so here it goes…

All I want more than anything is Success …Success within my spiriual financial and physical self
I want to be in a school that i love and in a school that is wiling to work with me to attain my goals of a worthwhile career….
more than anything i’d like to have the encouragement that i need …that pat on the back and the you can do its make the load a little lighter
I’d like to have a good paying low stress job that will make it easier to balance work and school
i’d love to have the independance of having my own everything independence is a blessing…that i’d love to be greatful for

I never thought our combined stories could ever evoke so much emotion in one room. Thankyou so much for those of you who attended the premiere and for those of you who stood outside dissappoined because the tickets were sold out. I’m still in awe after we recieved a standing ovation. In the moment you don’t realize that your not alone in your struggle. forgive me if I’m a little out of sorts. But I really do appreciate the many people who came to me after seeing the movie and told me to not give up….and for those who trusted me enough to share their own stories of life’s dissapoinments. As confusing as this juncture in my life is …I’m happy to know that I’m not the only one who has walked this difficult road filled with family and financial issue that affect the drive and direction of life’s Yellow bricks.

I appreciate you all fro your kind words and prayers and I hope to see an outpour of you and your family and friends at the 2nd and final screening of first person for the philadelphia film festival

Thank you so very much
-Malikka

prayer is a great main course…..meditation and chanting are awsome side dishes …..
I miss the big hugs cheek kisses and loving words…let us all bow our heads and pray …at a family meal before the father…

Ya OUUUUUUUUUUMMMMM
AMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEENnnnnnnnn
amiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyn

I need a big helping of all of the above.
if your out there reading this…..take the tim to prayfor us all…..