Killing me
Here are the things that are killing me with this process:
1. Not knowing what the hell I’m doing. I’m trying to read as much as I possibly can about distribution, financing, marketing, festival strategy, and 10 other topics…but books and online forums only go so far against the need to actually make something happen in the real world.
2. Having to act like I know what the hell I’m doing. I’m fundamentally inclined to be straight up about what I know and what I don’t. But that doesnt seem to be the most productive strategy in finding everything I need to find right now.
3. The fear of what I dont know. Its hard not to be paralyzed by the thought that one little thing I fuck up now is going to totally screw me later…whether that’s finding the right lawyer, the wording of deals with potential investors, what I choose to submit in order to meet a deadline, etc.
4. Rejection: ITVS, TDF, and the Garrett Scott Development Fund in rapid succession over the past couple of weeks.
5. Money: I’m broke, and the choices between finding money to keep postproduction moving and to pay my bills are getting a little more dicey each month.
6. Continued uncertainty about the film we’re actually going to have. We’ve been building scene by scene, but it still feels a long way from a coherent whole. There is a big part of me that really needs to see it all start coming together, that is growing very impatient with the process that I know I just have to trust.
7. Still not being sure all this is worth it. The more I learn about the distribution and broadcast opportunities out there, the more I wonder about the capacity of established structures to reach the audience that I really care most about: urban teens. Seems like its cliche to make a doc about inner city kids, but a totally foreign concept to try to make a doc for inner city kids.
March 17th, 2007 at 5:26 am
Ben,
Your doc would play in an instant here in France. In particular, ARTE which is a Franco-German arts & culture station would be interested, I’m sure. I know someone who works for a German-American broadcast group, I’ll ask her what she thinks about getting publicity in Germany. FYI and IMHO, Americans love happy endings, which you can’t guarantee, Europeans, esp. the French, love anthropology and ethnology; they’re not paying just to see the happy ending, they want a compelling story, which is exactly what you’re doing. You do realize that you’re giving voices to people who most Americans don’t want to hear, aye? A lot of people resent that folks in these neighborhoods are even allowed to vote, let alone share their perspectives on world.
PS: Amazing site! Really well done and very interesting. The writing (students, et al.) is really top notch.
March 19th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Wow! Ben thanks for sharing! I wish I knew some avenues of success that I could guide you too! This is the side of you, you have never shared. What do you need me to do? How can I help the most to distribute this project? The lives you touch today, will have an ultimate effect on the lives of many tommorrow. So get frustrated, get mad if you have too, but damn it, you better not give up. You’ve come to far, invested to much, and have to many more lives to touch. So tell me Bro! Tell me what I need to do to encourage your struggle and help you see this project through!
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:01 pm
KEEP PUSHING FORWARD BEN WE ALL BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU SEE THIS PROJECT DOING>>>IF YA NEED A DOLLAR I’LL SPLIT A REFUND CHECK WITH YOU…..THERE HAVE BEEN MANY DAYS YOU’VE COM TO ALL OF OUR RESCUE WHEN WE WERE LEFT WITH POCKET LINT :-) >>>DON”T GIVE UP THE FAITH !!!!!!! THIS PROJECT WILL SUCCEED!!!!!!
SENDING LOVE & POSITIVE ENERGY YOUR WAY!!!!!
I PUT MY FAITH IN YOU!!!
KEEP PUSHING FORWARD…..WE’RE AT THE HOME STRETCH KEEP GOING!!!!